Young people and hydrocephalus

A personal view of what hydrocephalus means to a young person

I have difficulty filtering out relevant information.
I get distracted, lose my train of thought - get caught up in irrelevant details.
I get intense panic attacks.
I have difficulty in working out appropriate social responses.
I feel 'left out', or 'left behind'. I don't fit in. I feel something is missing.
I have difficulty with eye contact and vocal communication - lazy eye gets worse under stress (People aren't aware I am addressing them and look over their shoulder).
I am afraid of other people's expectations of me.
I'm afraid of commitment - I have an intense fear of doing things wrong.
If I make a mistake I have an impulse to rip it all up and start over again, or worse, rip it up and do nothing.
I go through drastic mood swings - easily depressed, fear of failure, insecurity, isolation, anxiety. Fear of punishment.
I have difficulty making positive active decisions.
I have difficulty developing a consistent routine, and following it through. Acting on plans is difficult.
I have a lack of self confidence.
Difficulty in following a conversation - memory/attention fades in and out:
I lose track of what I've said/other people say. Can't stick to one idea and follow it through.
Not quite hearing what people say - distracted by other noises in the area.
Learning is a difficult process for me:
If shown how, I can cope for a short period of time, until something unexpected occurs. Afraid to repair something myself, in case I do more damage.

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